


In the night sky, where it’s just the two of us

by vands88



Category: Campaign Podcast, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Evil Campaign, Fix-it fic, M/M, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, we were SO CLOSE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 12:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16040588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vands88/pseuds/vands88
Summary: Your Post-Canon Fix-It Fic Wherein Zero and Blue get to finish their conversation on the balcony (Aava doesn't interrupt)





	In the night sky, where it’s just the two of us

**Author's Note:**

> ~~not proof read because I'm still typing through my tears and I somehow have to get up and work tomorrow?? urgh. it's probably utter trash and I don't even care. I needed this and I somehow think you guys need this too?~~
> 
> It's 7am and I expanded this to make room for even more trash, you're welcome

“Here’s the thing,” Zero says, suddenly tired of the charade, of the crappy evening, of the entire kriffing situation. “Why do you _need_ a bodyguard? Look at me. The things that you do - outside the operation on Mandalore where you inserted yourself into somewhere you didn’t need to be and you _paid_ for it -” he gestures to Blue’s permanently scarred leg, but he still can’t bring himself to look at it or at Blue’s face, and hurriedly brings them back on course before he gets derailed by that particular set of unpleasant memories “- you shouldn’t even be seeing combat. You don’t need someone to protect you. So why do you keep me on your payroll?” He needs an answer. This had been going on too long. He needs to know if Blue is keeping him around for the exact same reason Zero is _staying_ around.

Blue sighs like he’s fed up, but when is Blue _not_ fed up? “What does it matter to you? You get your paycheck. It’s what you want.”

“It is what I want,” Zero rapidly agrees. “It is exactly… what I have said that I want...” he trails off, flashes of previous conversations coming back to him. He had said he wanted to _stay_. But that’s not…it, exactly. That’s not the whole meaning. “I also…” he dares to look across to Blue, leaning against the balcony, freckles lit like his namesake by his constant glasses and the distant moonlight. _I also want YOU_. He thinks it so loud and so desperately that he almost hopes Blue can hear him; that he would see it written on his face if he ever deigned to look at him.

Blue keeps his eyes averted. The words get stuck on Zero’s tongue, as they always kriffing do.

He shakes his head and kicks at the wall. “Who said I get what I want? Alright? I get the paycheck, I do, but I also put myself out there, man, I -” he says, cringing as he remembers how eager he was to jump at the chance of being Blue’s escort tonight. “What am I gonna do with this?” he mutters to himself, then, a little louder, hoping Blue might give him the answer he needs, “Why did I come here?” Blue frowns, as if he genuinely doesn’t understand and it pisses Zero off enough to suddenly demand an explanation, “You tell me why I came here. ‘Cos you know I don’t wanna _be_ here. You know that I don’t wanna be here and I don’t need the money-”

Zero finally lets Blue interrupt because he needs to hear his answer to this, he really does. “I can’t answer why you’re not- why you came here.”

Zero looks to Blue in disbelief. How can he not know? How can he not _know_?

Blue defends, “How am I meant to answer that?” He gestures to Zero in frustration. “Did you come here because I paid you? Or did you come here because you wanted to be here? Those are the only two possibilities, right?”

Zero grimaces. Blue’s taunting him. Of course those are the only two options. And isn’t it painful transparent which one it is? He’s here. Of course he’s here. Of course he wanted to be here. He doesn’t even need to admit to it, because Blue knows, he _must_ , but he clearly doesn’t understand _why_ Zero wants to be here _._ Force, Zero himself hardly understands why. He’s so tired of this. He’s so kriffing tired. “But _why_ did I want to be here?” he asks, and he’s begging now, oh Force, he’s begging because he cannot continue to be this kriffing pathetic if its all for naught.

Blue looks at him, thoughtfully, and it might be the first time in the whole conversation that Zero has captured more than fifty percent of his concentration. He looks genuine curious as he asks, “Are you asking me, or are you asking yourself?”

Zero grits his teeth and shakes it off. Fine, no more games. “I… was ready to do this,” he says firmly. He was ready to be Blue’s date. To put aside his own discomfort so that Blue could win another petty argument. He was gonna step up. “For you.”

He lets that sink in. He watches as Blue frowns, like this is all terribly hard to understand. Zero wants to throttle the guy. How does he still not get this? HOW?!

Zero emphasises again, nice and slow, “I was ready to do this for _you_.”

He watches as Blue takes in a little breath, and perhaps a little understanding worms its way into that busy little brain of his. _He’s such an idiot_ , Zero thinks with fond annoyance. _A petty, naive, entitled, idiotic_ asshole.

He shakes his head and looks away as he admits the part of this that really makes or breaks this whole situation. “And I feel like I am always ready to do things for _you_ , and I don’t think that’s coming back at me,” he says, willing his voice not to break. He could deal with an unrequited crush, that’s one thing, but Blue sometimes acts like he genuinely has no regard for his feelings, even as a friend. This evening being a prime example. And it’s getting _real_ tired. He kicks his feet at the ground again when he finally gives Blue the ultimatum, “And it’s not worth a paycheck.”

He lets it hang in the night sky between them for a moment; the threat of him leaving. It’s not that Zero hasn’t threatened to leave before. He does it practically every time they have heated argument, or Blue spills his caf over his cybernetic arm, or when he has a wake up call pre-dawn, but he’s never actually meant it before. He’s never wanted so bad to just walk away from all this. He came here to be with Blue and all Blue’s done is dismiss him, ignore him, and use him as a means to an end. He doesn’t need… he doesn’t _expect_ Blue to feel the same way, but if there isn’t even a shred of respect there? Of concern? Of friendship? Then what’s the kriffing point? An aching, pining, heart is worth a paycheck, but a neglected and breaking one isn’t.

Blue’s silence is telling enough. Zero can’t bring himself to look at him. He looks out into the night sky and knows if it weren’t for his pathetic crush he would be far, far, away from here. 

“Maybe I should just go,” Zero murmurs, and heads for the exit.

“Zero, wait.”

Zero does as he’s told and waits, like he’s been programmed to follow his commands or something. He exhales his anger and turns his head back to look at Blue. “What?” he says, trying to sound as impatient as Blue _always_ does. “You got another drink for me to throw?”

Blue ignores his taunt and taps his cane on the ground in thought. An unwelcome reminder of his injury, of how he got it, and of the days Zero spent at his bedside itching to hold his hand, only to be greeted with “oh good, we need to discuss strategy” when he finally awoke. “It’s not…” Blue starts. He looks off to the side in thought, and Zero is afforded a portrait view as his tongue darts out to wet his lips, the stars and spaceships painted behind him like the front cover of a trashy romance novel. “I do _do_ things for you.”

Zero snorts in disbelief. “Like _what_?”

Blue gestures to Zero’s cybernetic arm. “I upgraded your-”

“Oh come on!” Zero exclaims. “Not a tech thing, you giant nerd. A _real_ thing. Name a single nice thing that you’ve done for me. Actually, no, let’s make the bar real low: name the last time you weren’t a _total_ ass. Come on, one time this evening that you weren’t a total dick towards me.”

Blue opens his mouth a couple of times, unable to think of anything to say, and Zero scoffs at the sight.

“See?” Zero says. “You can’t even think of a single thing.” He laughs sardonically as he looks up to the sky for an answer, “Why am I here, man? Why am I _here_?” he looks back down and gestures at Blue, “You don’t give a kriff. I’m just… entertainment for you. Hired muscle. Force knows what. But you don’t…” he shakes his head, preparing to acknowledge the truth for the first time outside his head. “You don’t _care_.”

He turns to leave, this time for certain, when he feels a tight grip on his arm. He’s about to wrench himself away when he hears the soft words -

“Zero, I care.”

Zero won’t look back. He won’t let himself fall for the lie. He huffs under his breath. “You sure got a funny way of showing it.”

He’s expecting a dismissive retort, but what he doesn’t expect is his silence and the careful retreat of the grip on his arm. “I know.”

It’s said soft, and hesitant, and even though it’s not an apology, it almost kinda sounds like one.

Zero sighs, disappointed in his own lack of self-restraint, as he turns back towards Blue, a small flicker of hope in his chest.

Blue’s jaw is clenched and he’s looking off to the side. The party is still going on just the other side of the transparisteel windows but Zero swears the sound of Blue’s breathing is louder. There’s a flush on his cheeks and his hands are going over and over the head of his cane with nerves.

“I, er,” he says, tapping his cane on the floor, “Don’t have much experience in these things.”

“Galas?”

“Social… events, as a whole, I suppose. Parties. Conferences. _Dates_.”

“Ah.”

Zero waits, because he can’t dare let himself believe that Blue just implied what he think he implied, but when Blue doesn’t elaborate any further, he tries to explain. “You see, normally when people ask other people to fancy galas, it means-”

“I know,” Blue snaps, and Zero fights not to roll his eyes. Blue hates being patronised. “I know what it… _means_. I just didn’t think it _meant_ … with us. With you. I didn’t think it meant that.”

Zero mutters a string of curses under his breath before he feels calm enough to respond. “Alright, okay, I guess that makes sense. For you. In your unbelievable little mind where things like threatening tailors are acceptable and three hundred and thirty six piece string quartets are a justifiable expense. I guess I can see how you’d think that. Still doesn’t explain why you’re a massive ass to me though. I came here for _you_. And you know, I don’t think I’ve had a single thank you-”

“How can I thank you?” Blue exclaims, back to his usual petulant self, “You’ve barely been here all evening!”

“I swear to…” Zero bites back his curse before they start another argument. “Okay, Blue, here’s how it is: you’re an asshole, but I like you, for some forceforsaken reason. I just need to know if I’m getting any of that in return, alright? Just a simple yes or no answer. Do you like me?”

Blue opens his mouth.

“Yes, or no, Blue,” Zero emphasises. He doesn’t want another segue, another excuse, another kriffing argument, he wants an _answer._ He closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever answer comes his way.

“No.”

Somehow, despite all his preparation, despite his very belief that this was the case, Zero feels his heart break at the confirmation of it. He doesn’t like him. Years of this. And for what? Why? Why is he _here_?

“I love you.”

His heart does some kinda flip flop. Zero must have misheard. He _must_ have… He flashes a question mark on his visor. Then three question marks. It still doesn’t make any sense and Blue still doesn’t offer any explanations.

“I _said_ ,” Blue said, impatient as always. “I don’t _like_ you, I love you. If I were to like you then I’d actually have to agree that noise you listen to is in any way music and I-”

“Love,” Zero says, numbly, the word entirely foreign to him. “You do… know what that means right? What that… usually… implies? In this… context? In the, you, me, outside in the night sky where it’s just the two of us, kind of context?”

“Obviously.”

“Right,” Zero says. “Right. Just… checking. That’s… I mean, _really_?”

“Yes.”

“You realise this means I might want to take you on actual dates and stuff. And you might actually have to be nice to me.”

“I’m nice to you.”

“ _Blue_ -”

“Alright, fine, I’ll be _nice_ to you. I’ll open the door for you or something.”

“Yeah right,” Zero says sceptically, trying and failing to imagine Blue being at all courteous to another human being.

“Then I’ll pick up the tab,” and that, at least sounds like Blue. A small smile begins to form on Zero’s face, imagining the two of them actually on a candlelit dinner date or something. But then, incredibly, Blue continues, “I’ll hold your hand, I’ll buy you flowers. I’ll even share my dessert if you make me. Whatever else you’re meant to do. All that date stuff. Romantic stuff. I’ll do it all if you just _stay_.”

Zero starts grinning behind his visor and he doesn’t know how to stop. He puts the emoji on the screen just so there can be no misunderstanding. Followed, obviously, by a heart.

Blue rolls his eyes, but if Zero’s not mistaken, there’s a little uptick to his lips that’s usually not present in the gesture.

But then, a familiar doubt starts creeping in on him. “You’re sure you wouldn’t... you know, be embarrassed to be seen with me?”

Blue snorts, like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard, which is hilarious given how his concern about how it would _look_ is the only reason Aava Arek is even here with them tonight. “No, what are you-? I’m never embarrassed to be seen with you. You’re scary and awesome. I love that.”

“Right,” Zero says, his heart warming to the praise even as doubtful of Blue's motivations as he is. “So Aava’s here because...?”

“Because she’s _also_  very scary and beautiful and I needed to make my nemesis feel inadequate, but I don’t wanna do _date_ stuff with her,” he says with disgust, like the idea of anyone having a crush on what is objectively the most beautiful in the galaxy is preposterous. “I wanna do date stuff with _you_ because I love you.”

“Oh.”

Blue fidgets again, his cane tapping on the ground, and Zero realises he’s yet to actually return the sentiment.

”I love you too, by the way, if that wasn’t... obvious. And would like very much to do date stuff with you. If that’s cool.”

Blue smiles a shy little smile that Zero’s never even seen before and it makes his insides do something mushy. He doesn’t really know what to do now. He wasn’t exactly expecting this turn of events. But then, Zero remembers who they are, and where they are, and clears his throat to propose what is likely the best idea of all time. ”Alright,” Zero says, “So we’re done talking about feelings now, right? We can find you some caf, find Aava, and then trash that guy’s spaceship? Right? If you wanna-?”

“YES,” Blue says, and his eyes light up like Lifeday’s come early. He grasps onto Zero’s helmet and places a firm kiss against the visor. “ _Yes_ ,” he repeats emphatically, and grabs Zero’s hand, pulling him out the door. “ _Yes_.”


End file.
